All I have;

I feel like I am approaching the end. It’s odd. I told someone today I feel like I am about to die. I mean that. Something isn’t right. Help me.

I just want someone to listen.

Please yell at me for trying to order food.

I have no problem not eating. I would rather starve anyway.

Thank you forgiving me a reason.

I know you don’t read my tumblr anymore. But I have no one to say what I am feeling right now to. So I will apologize to my blog.

I’m sorry for hurting you. Time and time again. I’m sorry for pushing you away. Because now I wish I had my best friend back. I’m sorry for treating you like crap. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I’m sorry for making you think I’m a whore. I’m sorry.

I don’t want him back, world. I have moved on. But it really hurts everyday to look at the pain I have caused him. It hurts to know that I’ve lost one of the most important people to me in the entire world. It hurts that I know it is all my fault.

As okay and as happy as I am with my life, I’m also not. I miss you. And there is nothing I can do about it. And I’ll always be here. I’m giving you your teddy bear back… Because I never deserved it in the first place. Give it to a prettier, smarter, far more wonderful girl than me. Because you deserve the best.

I am sorry.

So sorry.

Truth is

I don’t know what i would do without him. He really has been there though it all.
I’m sorry If it is a crime. But I have fallen For the best friend.
Go ahead. Stone me. He would be worth it.

43104) The people around me who know about my ED say they’re so proud of me for overcoming it.

confessionsabouteatingdisorders:

Truth be told, I haven’t overcome anything and the only thing I feel is shame. Shame that I was so weak and let it all slip away from me. I’m eating “normally” I suppose… and I’m so ashamed of that. I can’t wait to just slip back into starving… but I have eyes on me all the time. I hate the body I have and crave the one I had.

I want to cry. But I have no tears left in me. This is all a cruel fate. I’m sorry for everything I have done. It’s days like today that make me sorry I was born. I have yet to do anything right in this life. So why keep trying? I have hurt too many. I should disappear. I am sorry. I am so sorry.
I’ll do better.
But I don’t know how.

Run away from me. Run away while you have the chance. All I do is break people. And I’ll break you.